four weeks since he asked me to commit to forever. four months since he told me his name at church that one Sunday night. four months and it seems that it has been both a flash and forever.
four years ago I was pregnant and insecure and asking the Almighty if I was ever going to hear those words. if I was ever going to be asked that question.
and for four years my heart, it broke, and it doubted, and it ached, and it fell for the wrong people, and it grappled with God.
they say it happens when you least expect it. when you finally let it go. and those words can be hell to hear for a heart filled with longing.
it wasn't when, or how, I least expected it. it wasn't when I let it go. it happened following disappointment and one final heartbreak. it happened when through tears and frustration and pain I fought back anger and determined that my longing would not be greater in my life than my God. that my longing would not be a barrier to loving my God.
and then there you were. in a place I'd been every Sunday for months.
six weeks passed before you introduced yourself and three months to the day I learned your name, you asked me to be your wife.
and it was the happiest yes I've ever said.